Chances are that most resolutions you set are about yourself to try to kickstart something healthy or stop something unhealthy. Healthy habits help sustain us and bring consistent vitality. Relationships also need to be sustained and kept vital and so building good habits is important here as well.
It's been quite a year hasn't it? I read that people are grumpier than usual due to the stress of the pandemic. I count myself fortunate that I'm ending the year in a good place and enjoying relationship and family. If you are celebrating Christmas at this time I wish you a joyful and relaxing time.
Many people I talked to have told me what a difficult time 2020 has been. However there have also been good things amongst the bad. I want to hold life and my relationship as something overall beautiful, bright, joyful and precious - within which are sometimes dark spots and challenges to deal with.
Within all the turmoil of this year of pandemic, children need something to hold onto – as do us adults. Christmas is one thing that is familiar and a source of happiness. For most of us it has shed its religious meaning and instead become a time of and for the children. A celebration of childhood.
In terms of communication in relationships and helping my children learn emotional health, I consider it important for me to understand my emotions and learn how to express them in a way that builds connection and trust. I want to state them clearly without supressing or acting out from my emotions.
All relationships need positive energy to thrive. This energy can come from a variety of places and one that is always available is that provided by gratitude and appreciation. In our couple relationship we focused on this for the last couple of years and it has made a huge difference on many levels.
Big decisions affect many parts of our lives and usually require us to use a good part of our finances. And they are hard and costly to correct if we get them wrong - we really want to make sure the decision is a good one. This means investing time and energy in exploring the decision and making it.
Vulnerability is often confused with weakness. To be vulnerable is to open myself and reveal my inner world – my tenderness, my weaknesses, fears, mistakes, hopes, secrets and dreams. It is this revealing that is being vulnerable. Showing my vulnerability shows my humanity and willingness to be seen.
One of the core skills vital to a successful relationship is that of listening. This is the case with our intimate partner, our children and anyone else we are in connection with. I also think most of us are not very good at it. The good news is that this is a skill that anyone can learn and deepen.
In the important relationships in my life I don’t want to be only good enough. I want to be the best I can be. I refuse to settle for mediocracy in my marriage or in my parenting. At the same time, I don’t want to strive to be perfect. I aim to be in the space in between ‘good enough’ and ‘perfect’.