One thing you might not have understood about starting a family was how it would impact your sex life. I wonder sometimes if it’s one of those ‘Fight Club’ things - once you are a parent you never mention it. In my experience it is quite confusing, frustrating and leaves you wondering what happened.
I know when I fell in love with my wife-to-be I found her highly desireable. I didn't need to look for ways in which she was attractive to me as they were so obvious and vibrant. In this period I also found myself attractive - it brought out qualities in me that I enjoy and value. I was at my best.
All relationships need positive energy to thrive. This energy can come from a variety of places and one that is always available is that provided by gratitude and appreciation. In our couple relationship we focused on this for the last couple of years and it has made a huge difference on many levels.
I guess there's a point in most relationships we stop discovering new things about eachother. Maybe other things, such as kids, take over or maybe interest wanes as we get used to being together. The good news is it’s never too late to rekindle it, all it takes is a little curiosity and willingness.
One set of choices is looking for improvements in my partner to bring us closer to couple nirvana. Some may be character faults where I set myself as judge and educator to mould her into a vision I have of perfection. Or small things where she doesn’t adhere to my standards or ways of doing things.
I wonder if most couples can trace their relationship back to a fleeting second of eye contact, when you saw the other with all barriers dropped. There is no hiding when someone looks deeply into your soul through the window of the eyes and transports us to a place where we can connect beyond words.