I’ve been working in the self-development industry for 30 years as a trainer, coach and participant. In personal development programmes, although I haven’t kept any consistent data, I would guess that around 80 to 85% of participants are women. So what happens when men are not developing themselves?
Chances are that most resolutions you set are about yourself to try to kickstart something healthy or stop something unhealthy. Healthy habits help sustain us and bring consistent vitality. Relationships also need to be sustained and kept vital and so building good habits is important here as well.
It's been quite a year hasn't it? I read that people are grumpier than usual due to the stress of the pandemic. I count myself fortunate that I'm ending the year in a good place and enjoying relationship and family. If you are celebrating Christmas at this time I wish you a joyful and relaxing time.
Big decisions affect many parts of our lives and usually require us to use a good part of our finances. And they are hard and costly to correct if we get them wrong - we really want to make sure the decision is a good one. This means investing time and energy in exploring the decision and making it.
In the important relationships in my life I don’t want to be only good enough. I want to be the best I can be. I refuse to settle for mediocracy in my marriage or in my parenting. At the same time, I don’t want to strive to be perfect. I aim to be in the space in between ‘good enough’ and ‘perfect’.
Do you ever yearn for a nostalgic past - a time you could go for a romantic date without arranging child care or when you make love without listening for footsteps outside your bedroom? Was life really better before the kids? Is nostalgia keeping you stuck? Nostalgia is both seductive and selective.
Coming out of a relationship and work crisis, we decided to take control of the direction of our life. We realised we were riding life's waves without any idea where we wanted those waves to take us or which wave to catch. We mostly enjoyed the journey, but our life was not where we it wanted to be.
One of the seductive qualities about falling in love is the story is still there to be written, the journey is yet to be travelled. You have no past together, only have a potential future. You can be anyone, do anything and you are perfect in your lover’s eyes and as such become perfect in your own.
Being a couple means bringing together two people who are on their own life’s journey and who may be pointing at different places on the compass. This can be a huge challenge that can even drive you apart as a couple unless you have consciously approached this topic. And having kids adds complexity.