Do you ever yearn for a nostalgic past - a time you could go for a romantic date without arranging child care or when you make love without listening for footsteps outside your bedroom? Was life really better before the kids? Is nostalgia keeping you stuck? Nostalgia is both seductive and selective.
Coming out of a relationship and work crisis, we decided to take control of the direction of our life. We realised we were riding life's waves without any idea where we wanted those waves to take us or which wave to catch. We mostly enjoyed the journey, but our life was not where we it wanted to be.
One of the seductive qualities about falling in love is the story is still there to be written, the journey is yet to be travelled. You have no past together, only have a potential future. You can be anyone, do anything and you are perfect in your lover’s eyes and as such become perfect in your own.
Being a couple means bringing together two people who are on their own life’s journey and who may be pointing at different places on the compass. This can be a huge challenge that can even drive you apart as a couple unless you have consciously approached this topic. And having kids adds complexity.