“Person rather implies a dynamic process.

In other words, if you knew me yesterday, please do not think that it is the same person you are experiencing today. I have experienced more of life, I have encountered new depths in those I love, I have suffered and prayed, and  I am different.

Approach me, then, with a sense of wonder, study my face and hands and voice for signs of change; for it is certain that I have changed.”

from ‘Why Am I Afraid To Tell You Who I Am’ by John Powell


I guess there is a point in most relationships where we stop discovering new things about each other. Maybe it’s because we get so familiar we assume we know all there is to know. Maybe we forget that our loved one is continuously changing in imperceptible ways – as we all are. Maybe other things, such as kids, take over and occupy all our spare attention. Or maybe interest simply wanes as we get used to being together and start to take the other for granted.

I consider interest an important element of Desire – one of the 4 Pillars of a Successful Relationship. Are you interested in your partner and do you keep that interest alive? 

Whatever the reason for dwindling interest, the good news is that it’s never too late to rekindle it. All it takes is a little curiosity and willingness.

A simple way to start is to ask your partner questions about them that you don’t know the answer to. Even if you think you know, approaching your lover with a completely open mind and a fun question will surely reveal some wonderful surprises.

Here are 10 questions take from our Connection Kit. Choose one and take some time to ask it and see where it leads. Listen to each other’s answers with all your attention as though you are meeting this person for the first time.  

  1. What were the thoughts going through your head when you saw me for the first time?
  2. What are things that you do that you would like me to see as love?
  3. How do you think we could bring more fun into our life together?
  4. What are three things that I do for you and you deeply appreciate?
  5. What are the ways in which being in our relationship has made you a better person?
  6. Describe what, in your view, would be an ideal couple’s day
  7. What is your ideal date night and how can we make that happen in the next month?
  8. What was the most romantic moment in our relationship in the past six months?
  9. How soon after we met did you start having erotic thoughts about me?
  10. What is one thing we used to do before we had kids and that you miss?

If you find these interesting then check out the Connection Kit which has 50 questions in total, plus a whole host of other activities to help you get Connected. 

Do you have questions you ask each other that you really enjoy? I would love to hear in the comments or by mail your own questions that inspire you.


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The Connection Kit is a practical and fun way to bring you closer as a couple. Currently available in English, German and Romanian.