I’m searching.

I have, for sure, found elements in my current relationship that are deeply fulfilling and I strive for more. To develop together and to grow into something extraordinary.

In my quest I like to ask people what makes a Great Relationship for them? This last weekend I started the latest version of my 6 month online programme and asked the participants what, in their experience, made an Extraordinary Intimate Relationship. There is no universal model of a great relationship as we are all different. We all build our own marriage, family and life and no two couples are the same. So there is no single answer to this question. Yet the question I find an important one.

Here is a compilation of some of their answers – with a few of my own thrown in.

Partnership – we trust in the good intentions of the other and always have each-other’s backs. We are clear we are committed to build something together for the future. We want to be together.

Welcome – we accept each other just the way we are – faults included. We accept and enjoy each other however they show up.

Attraction – we are attracted to each other and like being together. There is passion and enjoyment of our differences.

Vulnerability – we can be ourselves with all our weaknesses and know we are accepted by the other. We listen to each other – deeply.

Presence – we do not hold onto stuff from the past but live in the present with a focus on ourselves and each-other. We know we are mirrors for each-other and so are not easily triggered.

Flow – we relate to each other easily and naturally. We do not need to put on an act or a mask.

Enjoyment – we spend time together doing things that bring us joy, connection and pleasure.


What about you? What makes a great intimate relationship for you?


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The Connection Kit is a practical and fun way to bring you closer as a couple. Currently available in English, German and Romanian.